The Mother of Adventure

Wanna buy a ‘Wax Vac’?

on November 4, 2013

StopHave you ever been gently cleaning your ear with a Q-tip and pushed so hard that you totally punctured your own eardrum?

Yeah…me neither.

My guess is that the average person is actually pretty skilled at removing water or a bit of earwax from their ears without permanently damaging their inner ear (hint: if it starts to hurt, you might want to stop).

But not according to the good folks at ‘Wax Vac’! They would wager that eardrums are popping – left, right and centre – which is why everyone needs their obscure product.

My husband and I were watching some TV last night when this bizarre infomercial came on. It struck us both as really funny, so naturally we had to rewind it and watch it again – to prolong the mocking.

I think my favourite part was the guy featured in the black-and-white footage (pictured top right) – to show how antiquated and backwards it is to use a Q-tip – who repeatedly punctures his own eardrum and yells out, “OWW!!!” in a super-loud voice. I mean, really guy? Did you forget what you were doing halfway through, or did you just have a giant muscle spasm in your arm? I don’t think this should really be such a hard aspect of personal hygiene.

Wax removalProbably the next-best image is that of a couple on the bed (see left), engaged in what seems to be some sort of very elaborate earwax removal process. I’m not at all clear at what the *hell* is going on here, but I see a flame involved – which is just downright scary. The guy, however, just looks super irritated, but why? Is this a time-consuming venture that happens daily? And should he not be less irritated and a bit more concerned with how close the flaming torch is getting to his ear canal?

Smiling girlClearly I am not convinced that it’s necessary to join the throngs of Wax Vac customers, though the girl in her bathrobe in the commercial looks so incredibly happy that it makes me wonder what else the Wax Vac might be capable of…really, who smiles like that when they’re cleaning out their earwax?!?

If nothing else, you could consider Wax Vac as a Christmas gift for that person on your list who has everything, or maybe for the dud colleague at the office who you need to find a ‘Secret Santa’ gift for. Then again, it would probably be about as subtle as gifting a bottle of mouthwash and a stick of deodorant – though at least those things are useful!

What’s your favourite infomercial?

5 responses to “Wanna buy a ‘Wax Vac’?

  1. Heather says:

    Ha ha! Those informercials are the best! Although, I have to admit, I have been tempted to but that sneaky garden hose that shrinks and expands at will.

  2. Meredith says:

    Do you remember the Friends episode with Joey and the Q-tip? “When you feel resistance stop pushing!” Joey could have done this infomercial.

    Favourite infomercial of mine is Mr. T ‘s FlavorWave. He couldn’t “pity the fool” due to trademark infringement…. He could just “feel bad” for them. Awesome. 🙂

    • I have *no* recollection of that episode…I just remember the one where Joey keeps getting man-handled by his tailor when he gets his pants hemmed! “But that’s the way they do pants, right??” “Yes, yes, Joey, that’s the way they do pants…in PRISON!!!” 😉 And I don’t know the FlavorWave one…I’m going to have to look it up now!! 🙂

  3. I just use my shop vac with the wand attachment. I’m a little concerned that I will one day suck my brains out through my ear canal.

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